Since 1758, with the publication of Systema Naturae by Linnaeus, thousands of scientific names have been proposed for molluscs. The derivation and uses of many of them are here examined from various viewpoints, beginning with names based on appearance, size, vertical distribution, and location. There follow names that are amusing, inventive, ingenious, cryptic, ideal, names supposedly blasphemous, and names honouring persons and pets. Pseudo-names, difficult names and names that are long or short, over-used, or have sexual connotations are also examined. Pertinent quotations, taken from the non-scientific writings of Gertrude Stein, Lord Byron and William Shakespeare, have been incorporated for the benefit of those who may be inclined to take scientific names too seriously.